One of the issues that most concerns us as parents is the type of friendships that are related to our children. It is something that 'we like to control' to be able to know more about our little one and how his way of being outside the home can arrive. And our main concern is know if our son's friends are really good friends or, as they say, if they are a 'good influence'. How can we find out? We propose a very simple technique that consists of making a small reflection and list.
This issue that concerns us on this occasion is a difficult subject to deal with. Parents hope to exercise control over the relationships our children have with their peers. But I already tell you that it will escape us as if we wanted to catch a fish in the sea with our hand. Therefore, before starting, it is good to know what our limit is so that our child does not feel without space or overwhelmed In this situation.
We could talk about the friendships of our children, but I find it more interesting that we approach the situation from our point of view: that we talk about how we manage it, as parents. In this way we will be a reference for our children and, in addition, we will be showing them how to maintain friendships, how to let go of people who do not contribute to us, how to choose them, etc.
To do this, I propose that you make a small reflection that will serve as technique to know if your child's friends are good friends:
- If you had to define your group of the 6 friends closest to you, how would you do it? Take a pen and paper and write it down.
- Now, think, what characteristic defines each of the people you have written.
And if I tell you that you are partly like those people, how do you stay?
Surely, you will be surprised by the things you have in common, the habits you share, the similar expressions you say, etc.
Well, the same thing happens with our children's friendships, if you do a small list of how are those people who relate to your childYou will realize that your child has a little of each of them. And from there, you can find out a little more if they are really good friends to your child.
According to physician, entrepreneur and lecturer Sam Hazledine, 'You have to choose your own reference group consciously and not just by proximity. '
With this technique we could come to the conclusion that our son's friends are not good friends. In this case, how do parents have to react?
The only thing we can do with our children is encourage them relationships with people who are happy, open, inspiring, motivating, positive, that they are excited about the small challenges, that you want to have fun and of course, that they are good and grateful people.
And on the other hand, we can only encourage you to be careful around people who are toxic, who are always in a bad mood, who use negative language, who do not add to but subtract in the relationship, who gossip, who are envious, who are negative, who are aggressive or even psychopaths.
Striving to have a group of friends where most of the time we spend with those 6 people who are defined in the first group, it is worth it. Because they will make our qualities are strengthened and we are better people thanks to them. And, therefore, we must encourage it in our child.
You know what they say: 'The people you spend the most time with are the ones who shape the way you are.'
Finally, remind you that if you don't like the friends your son has, don't be angry with him or forbid him to go out with them, first, analyze the qualities of those people and thus you will discover more about your son. You will know in what personal moment he is, and that is where you can exercise help or accompaniment. That will be your opportunity to communicate better with your child and help him change so that he himself realizes the type of people with whom he relates and thus can learn to choose better.
You can read more articles similar to The technique to know if your child's friends are good friends, in the category of Friends on site.