The terrible two years. It sounds like the title of a scary movie and, in part, for many parents it is. It has been some time since I have heard this (fearsome but popular) expression to refer to the rebellion that some children go through when they turn 2 years old. The adolescence of childhood, they also call it.
Is there a way that this moment in our little ones' lives is not so horrible? Well, according to this mother, whose text has become viral on social networks, yes there is a way to survive the terrible 2 years of children. And it is as easy as learning to see life in a different way, trying to understand what our children need and want.
“I have a son who will be two years old in a couple of weeks. He has been VERY active since he started walking (at 11 months). Climbing, running, jumping, climbing on whatever he found. He has also had big tantrums since then; BIG tantrums. I am a SAHM (stay-at-home-mum; term used to speak of mothers who do not work to take care of their children full time) and I was beginning to feel resentful for having such a 'complicated' child while all my friends have 'simple' children (although I know that is not true because being with a baby 24 hours a day, 7 days a week can make you think very crazy things) ”.
So begins the post on Reddit by user Nannygirl10, a story that many parents can relate to. How can you act in these cases to survive the terrible 2 years of children? This mother has had a revelation that, according to her, has changed her life. And it is that he has finally found an explanation for the behavior that his son has adopted in recent times.
“Recently, I realized that literally, all my son wants to do is… HELP ME. For my son to do whatever I asked of him was a real struggle (get out of the fridge, stop going to the bathroom to turn on the tap, etc.) So these last few weeks I've been letting him help me with things like 'ok, close the fridge ',' okay, turn off the tap ', instead of saying no to everything and physically removing it. I know this sounds like sense, and I don't know how I haven't realized it before, but it has helped me SO MUCH. They have decreased their tantrums by 75%, if not more, we are both so much happier!
I literally can't believe it took me so long to realize that I was not only being defiant, but all he wanted was to get involved in things instead of being told what to do. I feel like a mother of s *** about that, but at least I finally realized it. I hope this can help some of you who are struggling with the 'terrible two years'! "
What if we put stress aside? What if we try to understand our children? What if we stop demanding so much of ourselves? Perhaps the fight against the terrible two years of our children is easier.
The key is to have empathy with our children. And for this, we must understand why this change in children's behavior happens. It is from the age of 2 when children begin to discover the world around them 'for real': their natural curiosity, and now that they know how to walk, leads them to become little explorers who want to do everything alone, but they are not yet aware of the dangers.
They are becoming a little more autonomous, they learn new skills ... And they have tantrums. These are a way of expressing how they feel, since they still do not know how to manage or understand their emotions.
And what can we do?
1. Set limits
Children need limits to be happy. However, these rules (which must be clear and transmitted with affection) have to be according to the age of the little ones and must always be established with respect and understanding. Limits serve as a guide and learning for children.
2. Give lots of love and affection
Just like when they were babies, now that they are two years old and when they are older, children need to receive love from their parents. The consequences of children not feeling loved are lack of confidence in themselves, poor performance, sadness, etc. Enjoy the time with your children!
3. Establish routines
Although routines bore us as adults, children need them to know what comes next, what to expect, to sleep well ... to be happy!
You are sure to be able to identify when your child is going to throw a tantrum. Try to avoid what you know is going to trigger a tantrum. This way, you will get rid of some bad times.
And above all ... enjoy your children!
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