The emptiness that one feels when they stop breastfeeding is very great, and here it does not matter if it was the children's decision or ours, it is difficult to get used to the idea! I have lived it in my own flesh, but I found the method to continue giving them the best of me, because hugs and kisses for children are also on demand.
It was never clear to me if I was going to breastfeed or formula. I have an inverted nipple and I didn't know if I could put my little ones to my breast; Besides, despite knowing all the benefits, I didn't want to be obsessed either, things would be seen! And so, without planning or programming it (something rare for me), I spent a year with the oldest and a year and a half with the youngest.
Both my pediatrician, my midwife, and my friends who were already ahead of me in being a mother, had advised me very well that breastfeeding had to be on demand, so I did it!
With my first-born, it was all very natural. With my incorporation to work, I was leaving the shots and only kept the one at night, until 8 days before I was one year old, he did not want to continue! What I felt at that moment was a strange sensation, but I was not worried, I had to respect it and it was his decision!
With little Ana it was different. She was glued to me all day, either with her chest or with her arms. She was, and is, the 'moco girl' or the 'koala girl', as my friends have baptized her. With her, breastfeeding lasted up to a year and a half. If she fell, only her mother's tit would comfort her !; that he was sleepy, what better way to do it with the smell and taste of his mother !; I was hungry, there I was!
During the day, despite the social and family pressure, which said that I was going to continue 'sucking' when I got to university, it was not heavy for me, but at night (I put her to bed and could have two or three awakenings ) was very tiring, so I tried night weaning with the bad luck that it turned into a farewell that I was not prepared for. Still today, three years later, I regret having taken that step, because it will never happen again.
I could no longer give him my food, but I could do something else equal or better: replace it with hugs and kisses on demand, just as beneficial for your physical and emotional development and for mine as breastfeeding; and it is that hugs and kisses cheer up, relax, raise self-esteem, reinforce the bond with the other person ... And that is how I have become a somewhat kissing and heavy mother for my daughters.
In the morning before I go to work (yes, so as not to wake them up, I blow them a kiss from the door of their room so that the fairy of dreams will send it to them); When I talk to them on the phone, if I send them a whatsapp because they are with their grandparents, on Fridays when I go to look for them after school (the older than 8 years old is already embarrassed that she has such expressions of affection in public ), at the time of getting home (in this case I combine it with a big hug) and, of course, before falling exhausted between their Peppa Pig and Lady Bug sheets.
In my house, they are all hugs and kisses that, previously, we make in different ways. An activity that amuses us and reinforces the bond between the four of us, because here, unlike breastfeeding, where the father can participate but not so actively, the father contributes a looooong way. Do you want to know what we do?
- When my daughters inform me that they have run out of kisses, I ask them to put their hand on their tummy and make circular movements clockwise for 10 minutes. If the 'machine' has had a hard time starting up, nothing happens! We repeat the action until kisses start to come out of its mouth. We do not finish them all at once, but we dose them.
- Another method they love is to take mommy's lipstick or gloss, paint her mouth and leave a trace of her mouth on a blank sheet of paper. Then they cut out these 'kisses' and when they feel like it, they give me one!
- And finally, what we do is play 'Whose kiss is this?'. Here we put our imagination to work and this is how Ana always gives me a cow kiss (pure and hard lick on the face), Elena prefers those of a baseball player (she stands at the end of the hall and throws it for me to catch and put it in my jewelry box), Dad recites the song of the little ant while he kisses the belly of the little ones ('the little ant that rises, rises, rises ...) and Mom, that is, a servant, prefers the kiss of the squeezes (we all get into a circle holding each other by the arms, as if we were a rugby team, and we kiss all at the same time).
And you, what is your secret formula to make kisses? Whatever, remember that Kisses and hugs are on demand!
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